


Inside Jokes

by OneLetteredWonder



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Bad Humor, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Being Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Dick Jokes, Gen, Inside jokes, theyre friends i swear
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:55:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25217368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneLetteredWonder/pseuds/OneLetteredWonder
Summary: After living together for so long, the sides have inside jokes with each other that no one but the ones involved can understand. And just like most inside jokes, they're not exactly funny, but you had to be there.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders
Comments: 8
Kudos: 60





	1. Boot Dangler

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FromTheEphemeris](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FromTheEphemeris/gifts).



Janus is reading on the couch, absorbed in the philosophy of so long ago, when he hears the tell-tale whoosh of someone entering the area. He glances up and then back down to his book then right back up. He opens his mouth to say something and all that comes out is a deep sigh.

Very carefully, he closes his book and holds it on his lap, lacing his fingers over the cover. He closes his eyes and takes another deep breath, then looks to who appeared in the room.

“Remus,” He says as evenly as he can.

“Yeees JanJan?” Remus coos back at him. Janus grits his teeth knowing full well he’s going to regret asking his next question.

“Pray tell, what in the _hell_ , are you doing?” He asks calmly in a way that barely disguises how calm he really is, a tight lipped smile on his face. At the question, Remus’s smile grows wider.

“Well!” He starts. Janus inhales hard through his nose.

“I put a cowboy boot. On my dick.” Remus tells him then as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world, standing proudly buff naked, hands on his hips, wearing _only_ the cowboy boot. Janus slowly lets out the air in his lungs.

“And, is there a reason for that?” He’s not sure he really wants to know the answer to this question. Remus twitches madly and happily.

“I got a boot on my dingle dangle, so the boot can dangle!” He cheers and it doesn’t answer the question.

“WHY?” Janus shouts, very certainly keeping his eyes above the waist. Remus is vibrating with excitement now.

“It’s a boot dangler!” He explains. Janus blinks, then a sound similar to a balloon releasing all its air escapes his lips, morphing straight into full on guffaws of laughter. It’s the kind of shrieking laughter Janus only makes when he’s particularly pleased with something.

“Boot _dangler_?” He repeats dumbly, tossing his head back over the edge of the couch, throwing a hand to his face as he continues to laugh. Remus stands proud, boot displayed boldly on his body.

“Boot. DANGLER!” Janus wheezes, using two hands to wave at his face to calm himself down, while another set of arms wraps around his stomach cause it’s starting to hurt with the force of how hard he’s laughing. He’s nearly crying.

“Dingle dangle boot dangler!” Remus sings out and Janus bursts into another wave, another high pitched shriek of laughter leaving his body, bending forward over his book. His eyes are screwed shut in mirth and the more human side of his face is bright pink in a blush.

It takes another few minutes for him to fully calm down, waving at his cheeks to cool himself off with four hands. He can barely look at Remus, still naked despite the boot, without fumbling into giggles again.

“Leave my sight,” Janus eventually says with a wide smile on his face. Remus cackles joyfully, shimmying in place, then disappears in a puff of green smoke. Janus takes a deep breath, props open his book to begin reading again. Every other paragraph has him snickering at what just transpired.

* * *

It’s not an important conversation he’s having with Logan but Janus is invested in it when Remus comes falling through the ceiling in a mess of plaster and paint. They spare him a passing look but used to the antics, both continue with their talk. Remus shakes the remnants of his fall from his hair and goes into the kitchen.

Janus is making a point to his argument when he hears giggling from the kitchen area. Never much of a good sign for Remus. Logan merely shakes his head slowly, a silent confession he is going to do nothing about it. Janus takes that as good a sign as any, and tries to ignore the sound. He’s just getting to the meat of his point when Remus comes out of the kitchen smiling widely.

Janus tries to keep talking, but his eyes keep glancing to Remus as the other continues staring back at him. His words falter one more time and he drops his arms to glare at Remus exasperated, trying to convey with a look to ask what he wants. Remus snorts.

“Boot dangler,” He mutters and Janus clenches his jaw tight, a snirk of noise threatening to crawl its way out of his throat. The makings of a smile already on his face as he desperately tries to hold it together, his chest shaking with effort. He’s staring wide eyed at Remus, angry on all accounts that he would bring up that event again, but unable to keep the enjoyment of it out of his expression.

“I’m confused,” Logan says cautiously. Janus can’t answer him cause if he opens his mouth he’s going to laugh and he doesn’t want to give Remus the satisfaction.

“Had to be there!” Remus shrugs, his arms popping off as he does.They hit the ground and melt into the floor and away. Remus follows suit, falling back and through the floor. Janus takes measured breaths to calm himself down.

“My apologies,” He says tightly. Logan waves it off. Quite honestly, it’s not the weirdest thing that’s happened.

* * *

“Get out of here you boot dangler!” Janus shouts through the hall, Remus comes tearing around the corner three seconds later laughing like a maniac with Janus’ hat in his hands.

* * *

Another casual movie night, onesies for everyone and popcorn bowls spread between them. Janus is curled up tight in his, three blankets swaddled over him. He’s only half paying attention, the warmth of the covers and the environment softly lulling him into a drowsy state.

It’s a hairpin trigger, he’s not even sure what he saw specifically, someone tying shoes and throwing them over a wire, a pair of boots right next to them, and suddenly he’s giggling.

“Boot dangler,” He murmurs mostly to himself. His soft laughter is joined by Remus who flops even further onto the ground in a mass of snickers. Remus places both his hands to his face, kicking his legs lightly as he laughs.

“I don’t even want to know,” Roman decides for himself and everyone else, all returning to the movie as the two laugh themselves silly. Janus tries to stop his sound by placing a hand over his mouth, but then he catches Remus’s eye from the ground and has to curl even tighter into the blankets, giggles coming out stronger.

They spend the rest of the night avoiding each other’s eyes, and every time they even so much as glance at each other, break into more giggles. Perhaps it’s a drowsy induced laughter, but the smiles are no less true.

* * *

“It’s not that we _shouldn’t_ set fire to the couch-”

“No,” Janus says plainly. Remus twitches in annoyance at being interrupted. 

“But everyone is always talking about how warm and cozy campfires are, and how warm and cozy the couch is-”

“No,” Janus says plainly, again.

“So we just mix the two together!” Remus cries with a bright smile. Janus tents his hands and braces his face against them as Remus keeps talking.

“Oh! We could become smores!” Remus gasps excited and pulls a large skewer out of nowhere along with a human sized graham cracker.

“No,” Janus says once more. Remus pouts with his nose twisted up, gripping the cracker hard enough for crumbs to fall to the floor. Janus sighs.

“Remus we wouldn’t even make good marshmallows,” He explains. Remus’s jaw drops with a loud squawk of a sound.

“You take that back!” He points a finger-now-a-skewer at Janus. Janus easily taps it away from his face.

“We are more meat based versus sugar based, we won’t squish the way a marshmallow should.” Janus tells him while Remus gets more red in the face in frustration.

“Not with that attitude!” Remus accuses him. Janus pinches the bridge of his nose.

“It’s not about attitude, it’s about bodily functions,” Janus tries to be patient.

“I can’t believe you would betray me like this!” Remus pretends to cry, throwing a hand against his forehead dramatically, all of his fingers now skewers for no reason.

“I would _never_ betray you,” Janus says easily, taking a sip of his afternoon tea. Remus glares at him with one eye from between his skewer fingers.

“How could you lie to me like this?” Remus chokes out a fake noise, a stray tear falling down his cheek.

“Oh no. Of course. How could I lie?” Janus deadpans back at that one, raising a single eyebrow at Remus in a mock challenge and taking another sip of tea. Remus slams his hands down on the table with a vengeance and without warning, shaking the foundation.

“Don’t make me get the boot dangler!” He shouts and Janus spews out his tea all over Remus’s face. It’s hard to say if his laughter is because of the boot or because Remus is now dripping tea, but he’s shrieking and leaning so far back in his chair he falls over.

He lands with a clatter, only stopping to hiss out in pain and then start laughing again. Remus bubbles up into wild snickers himself, unable to keep his footing in the spilled tea and lands on the floor himself. They remain there until Virgil walks in, sees them, and walks right back out.

* * *

“Your private parts should remain in your pants.” Patton chides.

“Then where will I hang my boot?!” Remus asks frighteningly innocent. Janus has to cover his mouth to not laugh.

“Time to find a new dangler.” He says. Remus snaps his attention to him, waggling his eyebrows up and down suggestively. Janus points a single finger at him.

“No.” He says finally and sinks out without another word.

* * *

The box is dropped into his lap with no preamble. Janus stares at it for a minute then looks up to Remus who is shifting foot to foot awkwardly, a tentative smile on his face.

“Gotcha something,” Remus tries to go for casual but his voice is strained with nerves over the receiving of his present, his hands clenched tight together. Janus takes his time opening up the gift. He stares down at the item once the box is opened.

It’s a wall hang of some kind, two plain curling hooks attached to a base. He pulls it out and looks at it carefully, wondering where the gimmick is in the gift cause with Remus there always is one. He turns it over in his hands in an attempt to understand.

“Thank you?” He says, looking questioningly up at Remus now, only slightly concerned as Remus’s nerves have been shucked away, now replaced with a wild smirk.

“Do you like it?” Remus asks. That’s a trick question if Janus has ever heard one.

“It’s awful. What is it?” Janus asks. Remus wiggles his fingers and the item shifts just so, the hooks now resembling a certain piece of anatomy.

“For your boots!” He cheers and Janus throws the hook at him. He misses by a mile, the sound of their laughter echoing around them as the item drops to the floor.

* * *

“You need new boots.”

“You need a new dangler but I figure that’s your business.”

“HEY!”

* * *

Janus walks past the room, stops, then walks two steps backwards to look into Remus’s room. Never a good thought to have on it’s own, but it doesn’t stop him from doing so. He squints just to make sure he is actually seeing what he thinks he’s seeing, and when it becomes clear, he smacks a hand to his face, his shoulders shaking with silent laughter.

“What’s up JannyJan?” Remus asks out of nowhere. Janus looks over his shoulder at Remus standing upside down from the ceiling. His feet have plunger tops attached to them keeping him stuck. Janus just shakes his head.

“Obviously everything,” He says and continues on his way, listening to Remus struggle to move from his own invention. He can’t help but smile though. Every single one of Remus’s shoes are now hanging from their own personal dangler fixed firmly to the wall.

They match the one Janus has hanging on his wall.

* * *

It’s mentioned few and far between but it never fails to make either of them smile. It’s perhaps the dumbest thing that’s ever come up between them and though Janus will adamantly refuse to admit it, convince any one who will listen that he does rather prefer humor that makes him think, all Remus has to do is pop up, a single boot in hand, to get peels of laughter out of him.


	2. And do the Hula!

It is little known that the sides did embellish themselves in front of the camera. Some things were still true. Logan did use flash cards to help with slang, Patton really did like dad jokes that much, Virgil did hiss when he thought an idea was dumb, and Roman truly did like disney movies a whole lot and can and would sing their songs at every opportunity. 

“Okay how about Mulan?”

“There’s never a wrong time to dress in drag.”

Some things did bleed over into reality. Patton and Logan argued over what was best for Thomas a bit. Roman and Remus didn’t necessarily get along and would hit each other in greeting. Virgil and Janus really did have some sort of history that made them just a little testy around each other, they could be civil, but only with preparing to be near each other.

Just as Roman and Virgil didn’t always have the best track record either. Their positions clashed often, and it’s not that they didn’t get along when they wanted to, but it always seemed easier for them to just annoy the other.

“Lion king?”

“There’s never a wrong time to dress in drag and dO THE HULA OOHHH!”

“DO THE HULA OHHH!”

The sides did always embellish themselves a bit on camera. For the fun of it, the drama, but the reaction there is a little more real than either of them are ready to admit, cause even though their rivalry is embellished, it’s still tense between them otherwise. Roman is still laughing about it to himself when they sink back into the common area, rubbing the back of his head, and Virgil scuffs his shoes on the ground smiling a little as well.

“We should watch them together. The movies, that is, if you want.” Roman asks a little awkwardly but he’s trying. Virgil can’t help but snort, and before Roman gets prissy about Virgil laughing at him, asks-

“And what do the hula?” He’s still snickering and the only reason he doesn’t feel awkward asking that or being snarky is because Roman bursts into a hearty laugh of his own, wiping a stray tear from his eyes.

“Perhaps we should!” He says and there’s a gleam in his eye that Virgil doesn’t quite trust just yet but, maybe a little hula couldn’t hurt?

Correction: It does hurt because Roman makes him(goads and challenges him and Virgil goes along because he’s made of spite) hula-hoop through the entire princess saga. After Virgil’s stomach is sore but he’s smiling and Roman looks just as tired if not just as happy.

* * *

“Roman would you please do the dishes?” Logan asks plainly from somewhere in the house. It’s followed by Roman’s outdrawn groan of annoyance that is entirely misplaced as the dishes only take a wave of his hand to be perfectly cleaned and put away. He stomps downstairs and does just that but far more haughtily than necessary. Virgil snickers silently from the couch.

“Anything else you need of me Merlin?” Roman asks. Virgil peeks his head over the edge of the couch.

“Do the hula!” He calls. Roman snaps his fingers and the entire living room becomes an array of gaudy colors, hula hoops in hand. Before Logan can escape Roman lassos him in one and tosses the other to Virgil who catches it. Logan grumbles the entire time they spin in circles and chalks up his participation as exercise is important. Virgil rolls his eyes and catches Roman’s smirk from the other side of the room.

* * *

Virgil is not crying. He doesn’t cry, but he is curled up tight in his blankets hyperventilating wishing the niggling voice of annoyance in the back of his head would just shut up.

It’s been a bad day. Or a sort of bad day. He’s not even sure himself. He woke up groggy, snapped at Patton, which made Logan snap at him, which made him more snappish, so he skipped meals to stay locked in his room, and now feels like he can't leave because he’s been in there so long and now they think he won’t apologize or that they hate him more than they already do so what’s the point in moving ever again anyway?

Virgil groans and drops his head to his hands, trying and attempting to calm down but his breathing is all kinds of messed up and it’s stupid, and he feels stupid and everything is stupid and-

“Virgil open the door.” That’s Roman’s voice that cuts through all thoughts in his head. Virgil groans again and waves his hand to unlock and open the door. Roman slips in quietly and sits beside him on the bed.

“Logan told me what happened,” He says gently and Virgil twists up his face in a grimace.

“Cool so they sent you to tell me they never want to see me again alright awesome thanks,” He grumbles out, wrapping his arms over his legs. Roman shakes his head with a huff.

“They want to talk to you about it, maybe apologize?” Roman suggests. Virgil twists his face up even more at that mortifying thought. Roman levels him with a stern look and eventually Virgil crumbles into hiding in his arms.

“I can’t face them like _this_ ,” He says lowly. And he can’t, he won't. He’s been frustrated and tearing at his hair and he’s coiled up like a spring ready to snap and if he does that again he won’t accept any apology from anyone ever again.

“So we change _this_ ,” Roman says plainly. Virgil lifts his head enough to glare at Roman with one eye.

“How?” He deadpans. Roman gives him a soft smile.

“Shower, touch up the make up, a few deep breaths.” He says as if it’s that simple. Roman lifts his hands as he inhales, giving Virgil a goading smile. Virgil still glares but follows and inhales deeply, holding it until Roman lowers his hands and he calms down.

“Shower, make up, breathe,” Roman repeats for him and Virgil nods.

“And maybe do the hula,” Roman tacks on and Virgil can’t help it, he startles into a laugh, and maybe now he cries a little, just enough to warrant rubbing at his face because in the end he’s relieved that they don’t hate him.

So he and Roman play a song or two, rolling a hula hoop around their hips while jamming to the music. And Virgil hates exercise, but the act of moving and the smile Roman gives him has him feeling just a bit better.

* * *

“You’re overworking.” Virgil says and Roman jumps a foot in the air from his desk, standing so fast the chair topples backwards and lands with a bang that causes Roman to flinch and Virgil to stare at him unimpressed. To be fair Virgil did pop up in his room unannounced in that silent way that scares pretty much everyone, but that’s not the point. The point is Roman has been in his room since the morning and hasn’t come to eat or socialize or in general anything and Virgil is worried. 

Not that he’s going to tell Roman that though.

“I am not!” Roman defends himself. Virgil arcs an eyebrow.

“I am… so.” Roman admits and runs a hand through his already disheveled hair, leaning heavily on his desk. Virgil sighs and walks farther into the room to pick up the chair and push it into the desk, a silent order that Roman isn’t to be working anymore.

“You’re driving me crazy, yourself crazy, probably Thomas crazy,” Virgil tells him and Roman whines a bit at the knowledge, looking more defeated than he did. Virgil cringes to himself at his choice of words but presses on, fathering Roman’s materials to organize them on his desk while Roman just watches almost in a daze.

He’s doing his best and Virgil knows this but sometimes Roman doesn’t, almost forgets how hard he works. So he takes Roman’s hands and drags him into the bathroom where he brushes Roman’s hair and helps him put on a face mask that cools his skin.

“You need to chill,” Virgil says as gently as he can as they wash it off. Roman sighs.

“And do the hula,” Virgil adds and Roman begins to giggle, some of the tension of work finally rolling off his shoulders as they roll the hula hoops around their waists before Virgil tucks Roman into his fluffy blankets and sticks around until he’s sure Roman is fast asleep.

* * *

“Virgil can you come help me!” Roman yells.

“Can’t!” Virgil yells back.

“Why not?!” Roman complains.

“I'm doing the hula!” Virgil shouts. A pause.

“How _dare you_ -!”

* * *

Patton is cooking in the kitchen, which means Logan and Janus are nearby making sure that it remains a kitchen. Virgil is sitting on the fridge, curled up tight to not be in the way, though every time someone opens the fridge he swats his hand down to try and smack their hands for the fun of it. They don’t really seem to mind so he keeps at it.

It’s a quiet comfort, in a way, having them all there without being expected to talk. Every so often Logan will hand him a glass of water to make sure he’s hydrated. Patton will hand him a fork to try the food as it cooks, and when neither of them are looking, Janus will use one of his many hands to sneak him sweets and then look away as if he has no idea where Virgil got the chocolate.

Roman and Remus enter a bit later, a little scuffed from an adventure of some kind, but overall being frighteningly civil with each other. Virgil waves with his fingers when he’s noticed but doesn’t say much else.

Talks of dinner preside and Roman somewhat pleads with Patton to let him finish cooking but it falls on deaf ears as Patton smiles and continues on.

“I’m almost done, I just need to stir it up and put it in the oven,” He says with a bright smile.

“And do the hula.” “And do the hula!” Roman and Virgil say at the same time and go right into pointing at each other happily. No one comments on it, looking between the two confused, but Remus screeches when he spies the candy Janus has hiding under his caplet and tackles him to the ground.

* * *

“Okay uh.. oh, let's kill tonight.. and do the hula.”

“Nice, okay uhm, I just can't wait to be king, and do the hula!”

“That doesn’t count, it's from the same movie!”

“Oh whatever Paramourning it's your turn.”

“Ugh fine uhm. Be calm.. and do the hula.”

“Broadway here I come! And do the hula.”

“Time of your life, and do the hula.”

“Go, and do the hula.”

“Hahahaha.”

* * *

It’s a productive day in all honesty. Not as productive as Logan would like but it's better than it could have been Virgil will admit. They managed the first ten minutes without fighting which he’s sure is a record of some kind. He’s a little tired from all the work he put in. They slowly break off to do their own things, Logan taking Remus to get all their thoughts out of their heads, Patton and Janus going off to have tea or coffee or whatever it is that adults drink(apple juice and soup apparently). Virgil lets his shoulders fall from their tense position.

“You alright?” Roman asks carefully. Virgil shrugs and summons his headphones but puts them around his neck instead of over his ears.

“I guess, just, it’s a lot going on and hah you know I hate change,” He says a little bitterly. Roman nods and rubs at his neck.

“Are you alright?” Virgil asks in turn. Roman sighs.

“I suppose I am not happy with the outcome either but, if it is what must be done then so be it,” Roman clenches his fist in a promise to himself to do good. Virgil snorts at the action, comfortable in the silence between them.

“Are you busy? Perhaps we can enjoy the rest of the day together?” Roman asks and there’s a gleam in his eye that has Virgil smirking.

“What’d you have in mind?” He asks, hands in his pockets and relaxed as ever. Roman hums in thought though Virgil knows he already has an idea of what he wants and the rubbing of his chin is just for show.

“Perhaps a movie or two to relax? We can make popcorn.” He suggests. Virgil raises an eyebrow at him and they both smirk conspiratorially.

“And do the hula.” “And do the hula!” “Oohhhh!” “OOHHH!” They both point at each other dramatically, crouching in some dumb position as they do. Virgil falls to the couch with a snicker, letting Roman do all the hard work of putting on the movie and making popcorn. They point out every inconsistency, throwing food at the screen when something dumb happens, and every time it lines up with the words on screen interject ‘and do the hula’, laughing at the situations they create in their minds.

It’s relaxing, and honestly Virgil is just glad Roman isn't actually making him do the hula this time, though if it meant spending time like this with Roman, he’d do it in a heartbeat no matter how dumb he looks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :P

**Author's Note:**

> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


End file.
